I won’t be dead
I’ll be buried alive
Death is quite generous
To artists that die
Astounding distaste
Reality’s stride
Keep women and drugs
Keep your eyes on the prize
Selfish behaviour
Obsession with size
Upset at successes
Cus I’ve never tried
Holding her closely
But outside the lines
She knows she ain’t ugly
It’s all over her eyes
I’d stay with you honey
I’d give you some time
I’d give you some memories
You’d hide from your mind
The carrying sounds
It’s alright by me
I’m bringing you down
Whatever you need
The memory of famine
Angel of fear
Reality fades
Her face gets more clear
Devil on my back
Withdrawals at the front
To hate something right
You must’ve loved it once
Raise your motherfucking hands
You’re a sinner
The past is always a tough act to follow
The pill that I’m on is a tough one to swallow
Today’s not your day, neither’s tomorrow
I hate hellos, so goddamn hollow
Less is more, cyclically borrowed
Writing’s a chore, stole literally shit loads
Cinderella’s sins, glass isn’t comfortable
High like a whore on Kilimanjaro
I cry when I come down because I can’t cum
So while you’re in view my point should be numb
No hiding discussed like a burning Koran
When they come for us I’ll already be gone
People change, places change
Your eyes still always seem the same
We’re sweating bullets day by day
To drain the ugly all away
Empty people, cabin names
Poor decisions, able Cains,
Fix the prison, such a shame
Our Abraham just killed again
Gods and villains play a game
Stain the women, lay the blame
Raise a victim, born and slain
In sewing children, growing pains
Desert ocean, hungry veins
Hollow shells, we learn insane
She used to say she’d always stay
But feelings change in frequent shades
I used to think the fuel was grey
Not to bug the flies with flames
I’ll never say her name again
But still the face of change remains
One to prick the memory
Two to numb nostalgia
Three just might help you forget
The whipping boy’s insomnia
Couple shots, she’s faded
Fiance’s photo, a stripper’s mirror
The bad news from a pretty mouth
And words just seem sincerer
The crows and pigeons stare at me
With uncut condescension
They know that I’m so goddamn broke
I can’t even pay attention
Nothing means a lot to me
Sloth’s a funny sin
How does the devil get to sleep
When god just lets him win
We dress like our heroes, die like them too
There’s a spot in my bed, held my breath here for you
Being around you is so heavenly
Cus you’re always boring the hell out of me
Hell is a room full of naked women. They are all lesbians.
I don’t know the difference between death and sleep
I can’t tell if I’m just tired or weak
This isn’t the first time that I’ve been alive
And it keeps getting darker each time that I die
Lost in a fusion of blue balls and hate
Only time I get laid is under the blame
I tried all my youth to deny, disobey
Now I know drugs and do whatever they say
It’s scary to realize that I’ve always been depressed. My whole life has been social anxiety and inner turmoil and confusion. I can count on my fingers the number of months where I’ve felt happy. This doesn’t mean that I can’t change. And I’m trying. Really fucking hard. Is some of this pain fabricated?.. I’m tired. And these pills make me feel good. They kind of calm down the hate. Till I’m left feeling empty. Which is a refreshing taste of pace for a while. I’ve been self medicating for so long that I forgot what I was medicating for. Relationships are probably the most harmful medication. Putting your trust in a drug is much safer than putting your trust in a person. People change. Drugs stay the same. Maybe I can just make excuses my whole life and never try to accomplish anything. Maybe I’d be more comfortable if I blamed the world instead of blaming myself. Maybe then I’d fit in with everybody else. I want a piece of cake, but I want it handed it to me. The American dream of the modern world. I feel like I’ve always been tired. There’s no memory of energy. But I keep on crawling. Through the decay. Waiting for the next medication to come along.
Hungry waves revive around you
Cap the size of nature’s grip
Idle oceans, tolling bells
Escape the path of the tamer’s whip
Took the beast and cut him down
His form maturing while he dwells
You’re a holy roller man
You bet to lose and lie to yourself
I can’t stand the nightmares
I can’t stand my slow and dull replies
These happy pills, they work
In fact they’ve never worked so hard in their life
Every time
That you feel low
This shall pass
Be still and know
Why are the wicked so strong..
